Campaign 2008

My Non-Derangement Pact if Obama Wins the Election.

By J. Wesley ⋅ April 17, 2008 ⋅  Email This Post ⋅  Print This Post ⋅ Post a comment

I’ve been thinking back over the Clinton and Bush years, and both political parties have taken their turn being insane. Don’t get me wrong, Clinton and his people did some messed up stuff. That whole Waco “we had to burn the cultists in order to save the cultists” thing springs to mind. But conservatives were often a few olives short of a pizza during the 90s. As for the liberals, since 2000 they’ve been jacked up like a hillbilly kid who stumbled into his daddy’s meth lab.

For conservatives, there’s no excuse for this sort of nonsense. We’re the ones who believe government is a stupid, blunt object with only a limited ability to control the minds and actions of the American people. The genius of America is its free markets and its free people. Four or even eight years of Obama isn’t going to fundamentally alter that. Yes, it’s an important election — we have a weak economy and troops in the field. But we’ve survived worse situations and worse presidents.

If Obama is elected:

1. We won’t convert the conservative blogosphere into a shrill, psychotic echo chamber consisting primarily of profanity-laced invective.

2. If anyone kills themselves in the White House, we will assume it isn’t murder until proven otherwise.

3. We won’t be so strident in our hatred of Obama that we push moderates into his corner.

4. We won’t start up another raft of conspiracy theories involving the Illuminati.

5. We WILL fight our political battles red of tooth and claw, but smile while doing it.